The Wisest of All Men

I haven't posted in a while, and that's because I have been on a quest to find my true-self.

But all that I've done is come to the realization that I am a freak in every sense of the word. No matter what I do, I will never be half the man (although I'm technically already half a man for having one testicle) that Chandler Wiseman is.


It's a cold November night. Rain is pouring down onto the dirty street below, and out of a church door steps a man. But this is no ordinary man. This is a CHRISTIAN man. A man disguised in an all black outfit whizzes by. A pair of Batman's pantyhose, i mean tights, covers his cold eyes. He is nothing but a dark figure crafting his way through the crisp night air, when suddenly, a women yells in fright. "He took my purse!" Almost as quickly as Chris Ciepley pinned Luke Megleo, the dark man is gone, just another shadow in the night.

But the dark figure must not know who the man he whizzed by outside the church is. Oh no, he has no idea what havoc and vengence the fates have in store for him. For like I previously stated, this was no ordinary man. This was a CHRISTIAN man. But this was no ordinary Christian man. This was Chandler Wiseman. Wiseman swiftly jumps into his Super Dodge Charger of Character, as if he were a stock-car racer. He speeds off into the direction the dark man disappeared. As his speedometer reaches 240 MPH, Wiseman spots the man. He slams the brakes, and the Charger of Character makes a swift 180 degree maneuver. The man is cornered by Wiseman as Wiseman exits his vehicle. The man holds the belongings in his hands as tight to his body as he can, though he knows it makes no difference, and resistance against Wiseman is futile. Wiseman reaches into his pocket and reveals his meter stick of discipline.

"I don't believe that is yours," Chandler says, motioning at the dark figure's hands.

"Please, I'm sorry it will never happen again, next time, I will do the Christian thing, just like you---!!"

But it was too late.

Before the man could finish his pleas for mercy, Chandler had thrown him onto a table and taken his five dollars back.